Mindfulness and JOY
Belonging is the sense of ease and joy that you feel when you are truly present, and this is possible in any moment alone, or with others. Often, you don’t feel like you belong because you’re caught up in your personal feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and doubt. These all steal your joy. You are pre-occupied and unable to be mindful, present, and engaged with others. Your mind is racing in a crowded room, you feel alone even in a crowd.
Feelings of not belonging can be learned over time and lead you to think there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not enough. You are not perfect, you are a work in progress, we all are. That doesn’t mean you should stay in isolation until you’re “fixed”. Jump into the giant rock tumbler of life, get bumped around by other living stones and get those rough edges polished.
Start with being in the moment, stop focusing on the past or what might come. At its simplest, pay attention to what is going on around you. Be mindful of purpose, in the present moment. Instead of having a mind full of what ifs and hypotheticals, be mindful of today, tomorrow brings its own troubles.
But how do I keep my mind from wandering and focusing on the bills, a crisis, or my circumstances? We need to take every thought captive and test it against the Truth! You can then be present in the moment; you can live on this Truth and experience JOY!
Psychology today states, “Mindfulness helps with finding joy by slowing down and deliberately focusing on and appreciating aspects of your own experience, as well as accepting thoughts and emotions and viewing them openness, curiosity and kindness.”
In an article written by Anne C. Fraizer MA, LPC, for Monarch, December 22, 2021 she writes. “Though we tend to think of the pursuit of happiness as a positive endeavor, the truth is that chasing down that elusive goal can be anxiety-provoking and lead to feelings of inadequacy, failure, and longing or disappointment.
Shifting our mindset away from this pursuit and focusing instead on catching joy when it crops up organically, results in a richer and deeper experience of being alive. Joy isn’t a prize that you earn at the end of a treacherous quest. Joy is everywhere, all the time.
But it can only be experienced in the present moment. Catching joy requires us to learn to be present in our sometimes painful, sometimes stressful, everyday lives.”
Anne also writes about 3 of the problems that arise when pursuing happiness.
1. Emotions are always changing
There’s a belief that once happiness is found, it will be constant, continuous, and permanent, and that life will be free of pain. We assume that if we make it to the happiness mountaintop, we’ll be safe from tidal waves of grief, betrayal, or disappointment.
But happiness doesn’t keep us safe. Life is consistently full of ups and downs, and no emotion is permanent.
2. There’s always more
We assume external things like material possessions and financial status will bring lasting happiness. Then, when we finally attain that thing or make that money, we’re shocked that it doesn’t fill the void.
So, we decide it’s the next item or the next income bracket that will solve the question of happiness; we get into a habit of perpetually moving the goalposts farther back, which in turn increases our yearning for more money and more things.
3. The pursuit of happiness is clouded by comparison
Our consumption of social media and celebrity culture creates an illusion that others are happier than we could ever be. We internalize that illusion and start automatically comparing ourselves to others, increasing our feelings of inadequacy and smothering our self-worth.
Be present and mindful can help us focus on the present moment and what really matters.
Here are 5 ways that you can catch more joy through being mindful. I embellished Anne’s list in her article.
1. Engage your senses
Joy is experienced in the moment, but the moment is made more permanent through engaging your five senses. Drawing your attention to what you’re seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, and feeling at any given moment, imprints that stay in your memory. Describe the sensations in your mind in real time as you’re experiencing them.
This practice illuminates the joy in your life and gives it roots. Give thanks to God for His creation. For the senses He has given you.
2. Make time for soul-nurturing activities
Soul-nurturing activities are actions that spark your sense of self and make you feel at home and alive. For some it’s early morning journaling and devotional time, for others it’s walking in the sunshine, dancing, snuggling a loved one, or meditation on God’s word.
Ritualize your soul-nurturing activities by practicing them at the same time every day or every week. Rituals become habits that prime the brain for joy. Read verses on true Joy in the Bible and commit them to memory.
3. Find calm inside the chaos
Life is often chaotic. For many people, the chaotic moments outnumber the calm ones. Rather than fighting against the chaos and allowing its energy to overtake you, tune in to your energy through a deep, centering breath. Consider there is potential joy to be caught within the chaos. Then, once you are calm, pray and thank God for the peace that only He can bring. If you lack calm, pray for that as well and leave your troubles with Him.
4. Engage in authentic relationships
Relationships that make us anxious, relationships in which we are trying to please the other or manage their feelings, take us out of the present moment and leave little room for joy.
Relationships in which we feel accepted for who we are and feel safe expressing our authentic voice cultivate joy. Cultivate relationships with like minded people.
5. Connect with nature
When we’re outdoors, away from screens, mirrors, and the obligations of work, we’re more able to turn down the volume of our inner critic and tune in to our surroundings. Observing and experiencing the beauty of nature fosters a connectedness to the bigger world, which has a way of calming the mind. This connectedness expands our capacity for joy. Give thanks for God’s creation, have gratitude for all you see and experience and know it reflects His creativity.
I hope you find something that helps you slow down and experience the JOY that came to this world this Christmas season.
Sources:
Psychology today How to Find Happiness