Joy vs. Happiness
It may seem hard to believe, but there's truth behind the idea that happiness is a choice. We can have joy even when life is filled with chaos. Although genetics and life circumstances play a role in your level of happiness, you can take steps to increase your enjoyment of life.
That’s what this challenge is all about. Bringing JOY into your life intentionally. It's unrealistic to snap your fingers and decide to be happy every day. The pursuit of happiness is like pursuing a shadow, you will always chase it and it is based on circumstances. That’s why I prefer the word JOY. Joy is not dependent on what’s going on in life.
It is possible to have JOY despite your circumstances. JOY transcends what is happening now and can live in your heart despite genetics or circumstances. It’s what Tiny Tim exuded, despite their meager living conditions, lack/poverty, and his terminal illness. He was a light; he was inviting, and he exuded JOY!
The bulk of what determines happiness is due to personality, and thoughts and behaviors that can be changed. Kinda like Scrooge or the Grinch were changed. Hearts can grow 3 sizes and the coldest dispositions can warm up and glow with JOY. Choosing to see the glass half full and knowing that some things are out of our control which you need to let go. Or, adopting a “when life brings lemons make lemonade thinking”. When you intentionally do this, you see the lemons as an opportunity, not an unwanted gift.
Psychology today published an article by Sandra L. Brown M.A. on Joy Vs. Happiness, Sandra states, “Happiness is external. It's based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. Happiness is connected to your hope for a relationship or your hope for a future with someone. Happiness is linked to that "someday when I meet the right guy," or "when he starts changing and acting right," or "when he goes to counseling."
Happiness is future-oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else's basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness. These expectations can be seen especially during the holidays, when whether or not you have a "Merry Christmas" or a "happy holiday" depends on whether or not he is with you, shows up, isn't drunk, isn't cheating, or a list of other behaviors you expect for a "happy holiday" experience. Unfortunately, pathology rarely obliges in that way. So when the relationship falls thru, or he isn't wonderful at Christmas, or you kick him out, or he cheats again, or he runs off with your money, or he was a con artist, then your holidays were not "happy" and your happiness was crushed.”
I don’t know about you, but I chose JOY over happiness any day. As Forest Gump says. “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get!” and that’s so true. Choosing to be joyful whatever the circumstances.
Ms. Brown has a great story about her mother that I also want to quote, “You're probably thinking, "Sure, you can have joy in those circumstances if you are Mother Teresa!" Joy is almost a mystery, isn't it? It's a spiritual quality that is internal. My mother had a lot of joy and I learned from watching her joy. Her pathological man ran off with her life savings forcing her to work well past retirement. It forced her to live simply so she moved to a one-room beach shack and drove a motorcycle. For cheap entertainment, she walked the beach and painted nudes. She drank cheap grocery store wine that came in a box, bought her clothes from thrift shops, and made beach totes from crocheting plastic grocery bags together. She recycled long before it was hip to do it. But what she recycled most and best was pain ... into joy.
Instead of looking externally for yet another relationship to remove the sting of the last one, or to conquer the boredom she might feel at being alone...she cultivated internal and deep abiding joy. It was both an enigma and a privilege to watch this magnificent life emerge from the ashes of great betrayal.”
The stuff that moths and rust destroy in life on is happiness-based. When we have the car, the house, the diamonds, the job, the (fill in the blank) we are happy, but when they break, leave or aren’t shiny anymore happiness flees like a shadow at sunrise. These are all external and have nothing to do with the internal. It may seem like you have everything, but you are hollow and empty. I think this is why so many famous and rich celebrities and stars kill themselves. They can never reach and keep happiness; it is elusive and filled with lies of satisfaction. If only they were seeking joy…
The great preacher Billy Graham wrote a lot about joy and happiness. I found this awesome answer to the question, what is the difference between Joy and Happiness?
“Many people think that being happy and being joyful are the same thing, but there is a difference. We experience a sense of happiness when our circumstances are pleasant and we’re relatively free from troubles. The problem, however, is that this kind of happiness is fleeting and superficial. When circumstances change—as they inevitably do—then this kind of happiness evaporates like the early morning fog in the heat of the sun.
Even when our outward circumstances are seemingly ideal, we still may be troubled inside by a nagging hunger or longing for something we cannot identify. We say we are “happy” but down inside we know it is only temporary and shallow at best. Even from time to time, we may think we have found a degree of happiness, but it eventually vanishes.
The kind of happiness that’s lasting is an inner joy and peace, which endures in any circumstance no matter what comes our way. It may even grow stronger in adversity. This is the kind of happiness to which Jesus summons us in His sermon of the Beatitudes. He alone has the answer to our search for lasting happiness. “He who heeds the word [of God] wisely will find good, … happy is he” (Proverbs 16:20).
Such happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one that dwells deep within us and gives us inward contentment even in despairing circumstances; it needs no outward stimulus. “Count it all joy,” the Bible says, “when you fall into various trials” (James 1:2), because happy is the person who has learned the secret of being content with whatever life brings and then to share this secret with others who need encouragement.”
If you focus on the inside, the simplicity of minimalism and the purging of stuff gives you a path to your internal life. When stuff, people, and the problems they bring fall away there is a stillness. Only in that stillness can you ever find the joy that resides inside of us, dependent on nothing external to exist. My hope is that you find the true source of all JOY – Jesus. During this holiday season, this is a great concept to contemplate. Do you want the Joy to the world the song sings about? Do you want to live with joy despite the circumstances all around you? Invite Jesus into your heart this season. Make Him Lord of your life be surrendering your control and make Him your savior by repenting of your sin. God loves everyone and wants us to have true JOY. The devil wants you to think you can find it in things, people, or places, but that’s a lie. Even Psychology today agrees with that. The choice is yours. Reach out to Him in the stillness, He can handle your doubt, questions and anything in your past.
Joy typically comes from deeply held spiritual beliefs. Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, why you are, and who you are not with. When you need nothing more than your truth and the love of a good God to bring peace, then you have settled into the abiding joy that is not rocked by relationships. It's not rocked by anything. And it is not happiness based in the external.
I’d love to hear from you if you chose Joy in Jesus!
Sources:
Psychology Today by Sandra L. Brown HAPPINESS Joy vs. Happiness. It might not even be happiness" that you were initially seeking. Posted December 18, 2012
The teachings of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association May 29th, 2021. By BGEA Admin.