“Resilere”
The definition of resilience according to David Hunnicutt is, “The ability to bounce back from life’s most significant challenges when there is every reason to shut down.” I recently listened to him as he delivered an amazing keynote speech on resilience and courage. My blog post is a collection of notes and wisdom I gleaned from his lecture. His words were inspiring and rich! I hope they inspire you to be courageous and develop your own resilience today!
Resilience is actually a shipbuilding term. It comes from the French word “resilere” – “RE” means, “to go back” and “silere” means “what’s most important”. The word resilience originates in the 1400’s and comes from the growth period of history called The Renaissance. Behind this term resilience, Columbus and other explorers needed resilient ships to conquer new worlds. The engineering idea was that these ships needed to withstand 40-50 foot waves and the tumultuous ocean. The engineers wanted ships to become stronger when they were pummeled by the sea instead of breaking down. These were monster ocean waves, and they rose to the occasion by building monster ships.
So, how does the resilience of ship building relate to the resilience of a human being? Resilere as the French would say in sailing or the resilience of a sailor in those days, paints a great story of resilience. They had to go back to what was most important, survival. Resilience was personified and documented in the book, Endurance by Alfred Lansing. This true story speaks of: The man, the mission, the map, the maneuver, the message, the men, and the mishap that has fueled one of the greatest stories of resilience ever documented.
The story in Endurance, is of Sir Ernest Shackleton, who was one of the greatest explorers ever to walk the earth. He led 3 expeditions to the Antarctic. He dreamed of walking across Antarctica so that he could claim it for the crown and for Great Britain. Antarctica was the last frontier; it is a land that has 6 months of darkness and 6 months of light. The courageous men hand picked from thousands who applied for this journey had to sail through months of ocean waters, only to end with the Weddle Sea before reaching land in Antarctica. The Weddle Sea was ice filled and treacherous, turning into the most difficult part of crossing the globe to get to dry land.
Sir Shackleton and 28 courageous men sailed on the one of a kind monster ship called, The Endurance. The keel of The Endurance was 85 inches thick; most ships are 12 inches thick. The sides were 30 inches thick; most ships sides are 6-8” thick. It was a ship built for these seas. His hand-picked crew of 28, from over the over 4,000 that applied were fount do be the most resilient men, thus selected to take this voyage. Once they reached the Weddle Sea, they were faced with pack ice and icebergs, making going very treacherous and slow. They were eventually stopped 50 miles from the land of Antarctica unable to continue with the ship. They had broke the ice by hand and had traveled as far as they could. They fought off Sea Leopards that lived in the icing waters, who tried to kill them each day. They’d jump out of the water trying to eat them as they broke the ice. This dangerous and tedious process took them 5 months to get within 50 miles of the shore. They were then trapped for 11 months in the ice total. Eventually, the ice broke the ship up, The Endurance was crushed by the ice on 12/7/1914.
Shortly before the ship was crushed, they unloaded 3 lifeboats. These men continued their quest, they had a plan, they didn’t let the challenges of each day stop their quest. The 28 men dragged the lifeboats across the ice. They slept under the lifeboats and huddled inside to stay warm as they continued their journey for 5 additional months. The temperatures were minus 50 and the Sea Leopards followed them and would bump under the ice to try and break it and eat them every night. They finally made it to a camp on Elephant Isle, but the camp was barren. They then had to sail in the small boats they dragged across the ice to a whaling station to get help. Ernest and 5 other men set sail in an open sea with a bit of food to try and get 800 miles north to the whaling station. These men battled the seas to get to South Georgia Island. This is labeled as the single greatest nautical feet ever as they arrived on the wrong side of the island in a hurricane. They then had to hike over 30 miles to reach the whaling camp. Once they did, the 6 men were then able to send a steamer to rescue the rest of the 28 men. They all lived! The human spirit is capable of great things!
To recap this story, let’s examine the 4 keys to bouncing back to achieve this kind of resilience and courage.
1. Accept reality – when hard times come, we must accept reality. They don’t sugar coat, deny or downplay the situation. A healthy sense of optimism is essential because it’s what gets you to take action HOWEVER resilient people are not pie in the sky, rainbows and fairly dust people. They are real. They do not spout unrealistic optimism. This is toxic positivity. It is a back-breaker because it encourages to let your guard down and, as a result, leaves you unprepared. The faster you accept responsibility the faster you start to bounce back.
2. Affirm that trials make us stronger – there is life changing power from trials and tribulations. You have the right mindset. Trials, tribulations, challenges, and setbacks are not to be feared. In fact, they enter or lives for a purpose and that purpose is to mature us, and to make us stronger. Highly resilient people often look forward to challenging circumstances. With resilient people, setbacks and hard times expose our weaknesses that need to be addressed or they confirm that we are on course.
3. Acting boldly – in difficult and challenging times, they act immediately. Resilient people take action instead of waiting for help to arrive. They live by making decisions, but don’t worry about making the perfect decision. They adjust and adapt accordingly verses waiting for a perfect answer to start. This takes courage. They make a decision even if they don’t have all the data to start. Taking action in uncertain and challenging times takes courage! They key is, get started! Do something! You need to take a step and walk before you can run.
4. Attach endlessly and earnestly – Resilient people attach to the right people, the people that can help them the most. We cannot go it alone. Knowing what to do is useless without the emotional strength to do what you know. To transcend trials, we all need to surround ourselves with Great people. The linchpin is when survivors are asked about where their resilience comes from, 50% respond those I went through the situation with. The relationships helped them get through the situation.
How can we apply this to life? For example, we can look at a situation and see the reality of it. Then know that with purpose in our heart, it will get better. Next, act boldly and make changes to move forward. Lastly, surround yourself with mentors, good friends, and support groups.
Parting thoughts: To be a resilient person, you must learn how. Study the definition of resilience. Then building on that definition listen to a good story of resilience. Once you do that, apply the 4 keys above to your life when trials happen. Accept reality, affirm that trials make us stronger, act boldly and lastly attach to people endlessly and earnestly.
As a human being, lead by example. No drama, ever. Trials and challenges are good, and they bring out the best in us. When you experience trials you don’t whine, blame or act out. Embrace the challenges and know that good things will come from it. When times get tough, watch your friends. Help them to accept the reality of a situation. People need to stop giving up! Get them resources to help them through the situation. Be kind, be encouraging and be optimistic. But NEVER be a sugar coater. Say, we are in a difficult situation, but we’ll get through this together. Don’t be a toxic optimist. This sort of person gives false positivity and make people vulnerable. Remember to celebrate the victories. And lastly, tell the stories of resilience. Share your lives, give others a story that they can learn from and know that it will get better.
If you’re interested in building your own resilience, I’d love to do 1:1 health coaching with you!