Find Supporters
Like cogs in a machine, your supporters can help you keep moving forward
Today you will learn about the role of family and friends in shaping habits.
In the last blog you learned how visualizing your progress can help you stay the course. You were also asked to focus on your progress and all the marks on your log sheet or whatever devise you use. Being able to look at your progress and the chain on times you showed up, helps you see that you have made progress and you will receive new motivation to keep going, even if you missed a day.
It’s okay to miss once, not twice.
The completion of the habit is the cue to log it in some way. This is rewarding and your brain lights up! You get the dopamine, “SUCCESS” feeling! We learn to repeat what is rewarded and avoid what is punished. Make sure you reward your brain with logging the completed behavior and even add another layer, maybe stretching and really thinking about who good the walk was. Maybe sitting to read a book because the meal was portioned out properly and you didn’t overeat, you feel satisfied but not full or bloated. Take time to really feel how good it feels to have accomplished the habit. This will help you keep coming back for more of it! You must train your brain and let it feel the rewards.
By logging your completed habit, you can remind yourself not to break the chain because it feels so good to have done the habit. Whisper to yourself – “never miss twice”, remember how good this feels after you are done! You may have a valid reason for not completely the habit one day, but not two days. Try to get back on course as soon as possible, even if you revert to the habits simplest form, the 2-minute habit.
You do not have to be perfect, just persistent.
Habits are NOT all or none.
Believing that habits are all or none is what stops you and holds you back from accomplishing your vision.
The key is to visualize and see progress each time you complete the habit. Logging it helps you see it. It tracks your progress over time. Logging it rewards your brain and builds the habit with a tangible reward of success.
It feels good to succeed and accomplish something…even if it is a small quick win!
And remember, progress is not linear, when we step back it may look like that, but we all miss a day, we are not perfect. Those that succeed keep getting back up and use rewards or recall the feeling of how good the habit felt when you were done to get back on track. You will repeat what feels good and is rewarded. You will avoid what doesn’t feel good and is punished. If your vision is supported by your beliefs and values, you will try again. You will have a plan “B”, when plan “A” doesn’t work. You will have support, an affirmation, a log… you can visualize and see your progress.
Today I want you to focus on the resources you need to stick with your habit for the long run. One aspect is our social environment.
You already learned how creating and priming an environment will help your habit reduce friction and find a path of least resistance. This is usually done in your home or at work. But what about your social circles? The groups you belong to or are a part of? They all shape our behavior. They are vital for our well-being because they give us a sense of belonging. What you also need to be aware of is that you soak up the habits of those around you. You are the sum of the 5 closest people to you. If they do not agree with, do, or value your new habit, this can create conflict.
Your culture sets your expectation for what is “normal”. Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself. You will rise together! You will learn from them, be supported by them and have the encouragement as they engage in the habits you envision for yourself. They will be there to encourage you when plan “A” doesn’t work, they will remind you of your vision and not let you talk your way out of it.
So, what kind of a group, tribe, or person do you need to join or befriend? This will help you transform a personal quest or goal into a shared one. This shared identity or vision helps reinforce your personal identity and vision. This is why looking at your social circles, the friends you keep and the family you engage with is important to help you maintain your new habit and make it part of your lifestyle.
Make a list of your supporters today, and what kind of support they are. Look for others to fill gaps. Look for groups, co-workers of pick the brain of someone who is living the habit you want to add. They can help you with wisdom or become another support. Create your own Facebook group, invite others to join it. Go to places and events that support your lifestyle goals and meet others who are like-minded.
