Coming Back From Burnout
Medical Professionals & Psychologist have determined there are 3 types of burnout. Overload, Under-challenge and Neglect burnout, which many people are unaware of.
Overload burnout
With overload burnout, people work harder and ever-more frantically in search of success. They are willing to risk their health and personal life in pursuit of their ambition. They cope by complaining.
Under-challenge burnout
Signs of under-challenge burnout include not feeling appreciated, boredom, and a lack of learning opportunities. Because these people find no passion or enjoyment in their work, they cope by distancing themselves from their job. This indifference leads to cynicism, avoidance of responsibility, and overall disengagement.
Neglect burnout
This third sub-type of burnout results from feeling helpless at work. People may feel incompetent or unable to keep up with the demands of their job. These employees tend to be passive and unmotivated.
If you're working hard and hustling to build a career you love; but you're also tired, stressed, and feeling cynical about the future, you might be burned out.
Could you be burned out?
Burnout refers to a collection of different physical, emotional, and mental reactions that occur in response to prolonged stress and overworking. Surprisingly, experts can't agree on exactly how to define burnout, but in recent years it’s become recognized as an actual diagnosis among medical professionals.
Symptoms of burnout
· Physical symptoms such as exhaustion most of the time, headaches, and muscle aches
· Getting sick often
· A negative attitude about work or your career
· Feeling like everything is overwhelming or your efforts are futile
· Neglecting your own needs, as if you're a pushover and everyone else comes first
· Withdrawing from new responsibilities, challenges, and people
· Procrastinating, mainly avoidance of work or it is taking a long time to finish tasks because you can't concentrate
· Short tempered, especially with colleagues
· Difficultly sticking to regular self-care (i.e. exercise, eating well, showering etc.)
· Loss of motivation and optimism
As with any illness, symptoms of burnout change from person to person, however these five stages are commonly observed:
1. Honeymoon Phase. When we undertake a new task, we often start by experiencing high job satisfaction, commitment, energy, and creativity. ...
2. Onset of Stress. This stage begins with the awareness that some days are more difficult than others. You might find symptoms like: job dissatisfaction, lower productivity, unusual heart rhythms, irritability, inability to focus, anxiety, fatigue, neglect of personal needs or high blood pressure
3. Chronic stress. You experience stress frequently and your symptoms in stage two are more intense. You give up on hobbies, persistent tiredness in the mornings, resentfulness, repeatedly late for work and withdraw from others. You will be angry, cynical, apathetic and deny that there are problems at work or at home.
4. Burnout. This is the stage where your symptoms become critical. You are empty inside, physical symptoms intensify and manifest in other health problems. Self doubt, escapist activity, social isolation and the desire to disengage from work, family and friends is evident to those around you. You cannot continue as normal and it is key to seek help at this stage!
5. Habitual Burnout. The symptoms of burnout are so embedded in your life that you experience significant physical and emotional problems. You may be confused with someone who is depressed, but really you are chronically sad. You are unable to see the good and the silver linings life has in every situation. You experience chronic mental and physical fatigue.
Can I recover from burnout?
YES! It’s not immediate, it will take time. A great place to start according to Duke University and it’s study of using 3 good things to open your mind to what is good, see silver linings and feel gratitude for what you do have. It can take years to be back and feel like your old self.
I recently separated from an employer after many years. My boss, who was truly NOT a leader was burned out. She repeatedly took out her wrath and bitterness on those around her. She focused on the negative, offered venom in her words and the thought of seeing her or talking to her gave most people around her anxiety. She was so immersed in her own toxicity that she was unable to act human around others. I was challenged to pray for her, and I did. I remembered the beatitudes – pray for those that act spiteful towards us and who persecute us. That’s how we can show Jesus love, when we live the prickly and by the world’s standards difficult to love. I prayed for her and her family, but to know avail. I will continue this practice as someday we will all stand before Jesus and have to give an account for our lives. I have forgiven her and wish her no harm. I do hope she finds a way to come back from burnout. She was in denial, but those around her can clearly see it.
Carey Nieuwhof states, “Along the way, these 12 things helped me immensely.” These 12 steps are from his article https://careynieuwhof.com/how-i-recovered-from-burn-out-12-keys-to-getting-back/
1. TELL SOMEONE
This was hard. I think it is for most leaders, especially guys. My guess is you will resist because of pride. But pride is probably what made you burn out.
Don’t miss this: Only humility will get you out of what pride got you into. Swallow your pride and tell someone safe that you have a problem. It’s tough, but it’s the first step toward wellness. When you admit it to others, you also finally end up admitting to yourself.
2. GET HELP
You can’t do this alone. Really, you can’t. I went to a trained counselor and had a circle of friends who walked the walk with me. You need to talk to your doctor and to a trained Christian counselor. And you need others. I had people pray over me.
My wife, Toni, was an incredible and exceptional rock. I’m not sure I would have made it without them. I’m a guy and I prefer to work through my own problems.
This one was so much bigger than me. But not bigger than God or the community of love and support he provides. So get help.
3. LEAN INTO YOUR FRIENDS
Yes, this could have been included in Point 2 but then guys would have missed it. Friends. You need them. Guys – a word here. We tend not to have a lot of friends and we tend not to open up. Mistake.
Lean into your friendships. Friends came to the house and prayed for me. They called me. One day a friend called and simply said “I know you can’t feel it today, but the sun will rise again. It will.”
I can’t tell you how much those words meant to me that day. Your friends care about you. Lean into them.
4. KEEP LEANING INTO GOD
Just because he seems silent doesn’t mean he’s absent. I did not feel God for months. Not when I prayed or read the bible or worshipped. But I didn’t give myself permission to quit.
In these pivotal moments, you will either lean away from God or into him. Lean in, hard. Even if you feel nothing. I did, and eventually, the feelings of intimacy return.
Just because you can’t feel God’s love doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Your emotions will eventually catch up to your obedience.
5. REST
I was so physically and emotionally tired when I burnt out. I slept for about 10 hours a day for a month straight, adding naps to my daily diet on top of that. I think sleep is like money; deficits become debt. And debt needs to be paid off. I paid off my sleep debt that month and I always try now to make sure I am not running a deficit.
If I do for a week or two, I pay it off with more sleep. You were designed to rest and to rest in God. While I personally didn’t take a sabbatical or medical leave (our board offered me one), some may need to. I was too scared I’d never come back.
So I took three weeks’ vacation and came back slowly.
6. FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO TAKE YOUR ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOUR PAIN
The problem with pain (or at least my pain) is when you do nothing you only have your pain to focus on. Distraction is a powerful tool to get your mind thinking about other things. Watch a movie. Go out for dinner. Go for a hike. Go to a party. Go to a concert. It’s not easy.
At my worst, I would go to social settings and not want to talk to anyone, sometimes even ‘hiding’ from people behind my wife who is a foot shorter than me and 100 lbs lighter. But at least I went. One night we hosted a dinner party and I left the table early and ended up crying in my bedroom for the rest of the night. But at least we threw the party.
It got my mind off the constant cycle of depression.
7. DO WHAT YOU CAN
Again, you may need a long sabbatical. But I took three weeks off and went back to work. On my first week back in the office, it took me longer to write a three-line email than it took me to write this entire blog post, but I focused on doing what I could. The first weekend I preached, those who knew the shape I was in all told me “We would have had no idea you were feeling so bad. You were amazing.”
I knew how I felt inside, but it was good to know I could still be helpful to others in some way. I think for me it was important to discover what I could still do.
8. DON’T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC OR STUPID
Underline this. Because my illness involved my mind, I was tempted to do all kinds of things that could have ruined my life. I felt like abandoning my calling, running away from everyone I knew and everything I knew, even my wife and kids. In my worst moments, thoughts of ending it all crossed my mind.
I am so thankful I didn’t succumb to any of those impulses. Some days I just said to myself “don’t do anything stupid today.” And if I didn’t, that was progress. I’m so thankful I didn’t do anything rash or irresponsible.
Some days just avoiding stupid is a win.
9. TRUST AGAIN
One of the contributing factors to my crash was a few relationships (not my family) in which trust was broken. As hurt as I felt and as cynical as I was at points, I made a conscious decision to trust again.
And the wonderful thing is: so many people are trustworthy. And God always is. Trusting again after your trust has been breached keeps your heart fresh and alive and – ultimately – hopeful again.
10. CLOSELY MONITOR MARGIN
I used to pride myself in being able to go at whatever I was doing longer and harder than anyone else. Pride’s not a good thing. I now closely monitor how I’m feeling, my rest and my balance between time with people and time alone.
I’m hyper-focused on it. Because I can’t afford not to be. I build margin into my schedule because, without it, the edge of the next cliff is right around the corner.
11. WATCH FOR THE WARNING SIGNS
I watch these 11 signs of burnout diligently. About a month ago I saw over half the warning signs creep back in. I told our elders immediately. I was two days into what I thought was a ‘mini burnout’, but I sounded the alarm bells.
In the end, it turned out to be my frustration over a leadership issue that was producing the symptoms. As soon as I cracked the leadership issue, the symptoms disappeared almost overnight. But that kind of monitoring is for me central to staying healthy.
12. TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HEALTH OF YOUR SOUL
Nobody else is responsible for your health. You are. Pray, read your bible, seek life giving friendships, replenish your energy, eat right, work out, love deeply. These things nourish your soul. If you don’t do them, nobody will.
“Trusting again after your trust has been breached keeps your heart fresh and alive.” Carey Nieuwhof