Have you ever received a compliment on your appearance or maybe something you created from your heart and instead of responding “Thank you!” – you respond, with “Oh, this old thing?” or “You think so?” in response to your appearance.  Or say, “It’s something I’m still working on”, regarding your creation despite it being a labor of love.

Are you someone that deflects compliments when they come in?  Or can you accept them and take them to heart?  When you deflect and downplay a compliment it is a show of a stuck “set point”.  You are unable or unwilling to accept someone’s compliment because you don’t feel that you deserve it or that it is true because of the negative thoughts about yourself or your creative ability that are worm into your being. Set point according to Dr. Joel Bennett is:  “The general level of functioning that includes happiness as well as health, consciousness, and the ability to function effectively in all areas of life: social, community, financial, family, and career.”

It’s basically the upper limit that we place on ourselves.  It might have been formed in your family of origin; by popular culture, our gender, race or adverse events & circumstances that have happened in life.   We unconsciously feel that we don’t deserve more.  We settle, we get stuck and we put up with things based on our set point.  Many factors can influence and shape our set point. 

Becoming aware that we even have a set point is the first step in the journey to be un-stuck or elevate set point.  Ask yourself, “Do I settle?  Where do I settle?  Am I just getting by?  What do I put up with?”  Once you find that “stuck” area, you can start to investigate the why.  Why do I settle for ________?  Why do I put up with ____________?  Where did this idea that I deserve this and no more come from? How can I raise that set point and feel that I am worthy of more?

It takes work to raise our set point.  We need to first be aware of our set point and then realize that we can raise it.  We can become a thermostat and turn up our ability to cope verses put up with a situation and feel stuck.  We do not have to tolerate and barely get by in life.  God wants us to have abundant life.  To thrive and to flourish and reflect His love, mercy, and grace.  The devil will help perpetuate the lies of being stuck, whispering the lies we heard in childhood, that were shaped by culture or what we unknowingly just started to believe because we haven’t allowed His truth to change our set point.

To raise set point; we also need to be aware of our stressors.  What events, words or places cause us to feel that fight or flight response.  Why do I shrug off the compliment?  Ask yourself, “What are the early warning signs do I have that come with my current set point?”  Really take time to discover where you settle or are stuck.  When you settle, what sort of internal stress do you feel?  Do you feel or sense you want more?  Is that that invisible choke hold really true or are you choking yourself?  Are you conflicted with what society or people around you say you deserve? Is it something that isn’t said which keeps you down and barely getting by?  Is it simply your thoughts, or is it a bigger part of the culture around you?   

God gave us emotions and He wants us to tap into them and live our lives abundantly.   Anxiety is God’s call to act and do, stress prepares our bodies to respond. When we push our feelings down or try to rid ourselves of them verses realizing they are helpful - all emotions are. When we attempt to rid ourselves of or ignore emotions like stress and anxiety, we rob ourselves of their power to help us move forward. Stuffing these emotions leads to chronic stress that typically manifests physically. Rumination (not using anxiety to move you forward - but allowing it to lead you down the “what if” path and obsess) and burnout.

If you’re interested in set point and how you can become aware of yours and raise it; as well as learn to be more resilient and move into thriving, I’d love to work with you 1:1.  Sign up to start your journey today!