So, what happens when you get the call, for whatever reason – “Your test results have come back positive”.  What do you do?  I can tell you from experience you are in a state of shock.  I think typically you say, “Thank you” and hang up.  Thank you for what?  Positive results?  Your mind is a mix of blank and racing thoughts.  It’s only after a bit of time when the initial shock wears off that you can then formulate questions…” Now what?”.  It’s almost like when the messenger calls, someone other than a “messenger” that has skills to deal with the emotional responses triggered by a positive test result. That trained/skilled someone could call back in an hour and say, “Now that the shock has worn off, here is what options you have… ” or “Do you have any questions now that the positive test results have sunk in?”.  Then, they can proceed to lay out a treatment plan and give options verses hanging in the “you’re positive” limbo land.  After that, in a day; another follow-up with, “Do you have any questions about what we discussed?” 

Initially you don’t have questions, you cannot formulate questions.  I think a false impression can be given to the initial “messenger” that; “they took the news well, they had no questions”  Move on to the next test result. Wrong, it’s shock holding the tongue.   The whole medical system and it’s delivery of positive test results is flawed, as it is not humancentric.  I now see how the delivery of positive test results can affect people’s mental well-being. 

Calls typically are made by a nurse or medical assistant of some sort, or maybe the lab.  These “messengers” have a stack of people to call, news to deliver, calls to return, it’s a regular day in their lives.  They make hundreds of calls a week with hundreds of test results being given out confidentially.  They are trained to make these calls matter of fact-like, and just give you the news.  They cannot discuss treatment or a plan, they are just the “messenger”, delivering sad news to those that have a positive test.  For some positive results give answers they have been waiting for, it can be a relief to find out something. It might come as a relief verses not knowing anything. For others, the news was confirmation of what they prepared themselves to hear.  The test results are delivered the same and come from the same pile of call backs.  It’s just another day, and another call to make.   It’s almost like a chat-bot, unemotional and algorithm driven.

This got me thinking and researching a bit, so what should we do when we get unexpected news or in this case positive test results?  Experts I researched say, acknowledge the facts.  Acknowledge that the results are positive, verses live in denial.  Life is full of surprises.  If the news were a negative test, we probably would have been overjoyed.  The first step to good mental health is acknowledgement and acceptance of the results.  Life is about change; the unknown is in our future, so we need to be flexible and adapt to maintain good mental well-being. 

I have also read that we must maintain a positive attitude.  Not a toxic positivity that doesn’t face reality or acknowledge what is happening, but an optimistic attitude that doesn’t ruminate. When what we perceive is a negative event, we must acknowledge it and take it for what it is.  Nothing more.  Resilient people or those that have good mental health do not make it a mountain out of a molehill.  Even if the news is dire, like a negative test or loss of a job, news like this can force us to look at the fact, it could be worse.  This sounds cold, but I recently was listening to Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant who wrote the book, “Option B”.  Sheryl said that Adam told her it could have been worse when she was distraught after her husband suddenly died.  Sheryl thought to herself, yes, he could have been driving when he had the heart attacked and our 2 boys could have been in the car and dies too.  It could have been worse.  She needed to hear that and feel that to see the positive side even in this deep tragedy of losing her husband.  

She then set about the task of making sure her boys could see something good in each day and that they went on and continued to celebrate life as a new family.  Not seeing her husband in pictures of the family hurt, but it also helped her move forward with her boys.  The hurt was there and acknowledged, but it was not given their future.  She did, as resilient people do, realized it could have been worse and that it will get better.  We are not stuck in this place forever.  It is not permanent, even in the face of a “positive test result.”.   She didn’t act as if nothing bothered her, she acknowledged her and her boys pain with the loss of their husband/father. The main point was acceptance of all the emotions and connecting with her boys in this time of grieving as they figured out how to move forward without him. She aimed for balance in the emotions, verses 100% focus on the grief without remembering that they had each other.

Another step that we can take when we get unexpected news is to plan.  Once the shock wears off, we then need to plan.  We can plan for treatment, for telling others or just create a plan to move forward. If the medical test is positive, we need to make a treatment plan with a provider, and perhaps a plan B if option A does not work.  We cannot wallow in the “positive test” zone, that is a form of denial that will not get us looking and moving forward.  We might need a loved one to help us walk through this plan or help formulate it, but we must plan.  And if there is no treatment plan for a cure, plan for what comes next.

Experts that I have read also say, once the “positive test result” registers, we shouldn’t blurt out the first thing we think of especially if we are angry.  It’s natural and good for us to feel all emotions, but we must first pause and process them.  We must be aware that we can run to panic and chase the “what ifs” and put ourselves into a tailspin.  We also must be cautious not to blurt out in anger and then have regret.  We really gain nothing through our anger if we verbally vomit on someone else, we can do damage.  Another great place to express anger and work through emotions is with God.  He already knows the outcome of the test and waits for us to come to Him.  Faith can help us walk through unexpected life events with grace, strength, and hope.  Expressing these emotions to those around us can calm fears, help them ask questions or understand what impact the negative test results might have. 

I think from all the reading I did; we need to be able to take a step back.  Pause before we react, and then come back to the present moment.  When I was able to regain a clear focus and plan and react without panic the positive test result wasn’t as overwhelming. I did not dwell on the statement, “positive test result”, and I didn’t need to splash it all over social media for attention.  Being mindful of who we share and our motives for sharing new like this shows other respect.  It also helps us look ahead and remember that it could have been worse.  Spend energy and time moving forward verses in the negative realm gathering up pity party troops.  This not only isn’t good for our mental well-being; it unduly burdens people around us.  This may seem unfamiliar if you’re someone who seeks sympathy and doesn’t want to move forward or accept the news. If we can learn to expect change, manage our emotions, ask for help appropriately we can help ourselves not stay in a negative thought cycle, but we can avoid others worrying over the news.  We can rationally formulate a plan to move forward and save ourselves and those in our inner circle hurt of misguided energy and worry.  Hope moves everyone forward in a positive mindset.

When we have hope, we can then work on building a positive path forward.  We can work on adding or using effective coping skills to help us handle the “positive test result” moments of life.  They happen.  We must be prepared and even if caught off guard, we can know that God is right there with us if we invite Him into the moment.