Sometimes when we decide to change our lives, we have grandiose dreams and unrealistic expectations of ourselves. I often hear this when someone wants to set up an exercise program. They may say, “I used to be a size (x) and I want that again.” We delve deeper into that, and they were a size (x) in high school while playing sports or in college at the height of their athletic career.

While it is doable to achieve those lofty goals, the level of commitment to sustain those goals needs to be equally as astonishing. What happens typically, if the goal is not revised and made realistic, is a person has the mentality of a racehorse at the gate. The gate opens and they hit the track 100 miles an hour. They deprive themselves of food, and you work at a crazy unsustainable pace for three weeks; then they step on the scale, and it hasn’t budged and they are the same size. The big balloon deflates, and the racehorse collapses in defeat. They quit because the effort put in didn’t match what success they thought they’d have in 3 weeks. The key to achieving sustainable change is not full throttle, all steam ahead. It is typically a series of changes that build on each other, like a slow boil or gradual climb up the hill.

Setting short term or SMART goals to take the baby steps to success will help achieve long-term goals verses burning out. Setting the eyes on the long-term goal can end up in defeat. It’s rewarding to accomplish short-term time goes that lead you toward a long term and sustainable lifestyle of change. Think about it - you didn’t get “this way” overnight, and it won’t change overnight. The journey to change is not a destination, it’s a lifelong trip. You will need to commit on the journey, believe in the process and exhibit flexibility by revising short-term goals. Making them realistic and doable will help you to accomplish a long-term goal and sustainable success. Life is full of blind curves, steep hills, stumbling blocks, trials, and setbacks. Those that succeed keep taking baby steps ahead, getting up when knocked down and finding new ways to get through challenges.

Here are five statements to avoid and ways to look at changing your lifestyle that can help you sustain the change for a lifetime. Don’t let someone beat you with a stick to change, fear doesn’t work or is short term…find your own carrots and dangle them in front of your eyes. Don’t count on others to dangle the carrots for you…find your WHY and find your well-being.

Janelle’s Five Statements Avoid

1. Avoid – Setting a perfect size and weight goal. A long-term goal that you aspire to someday conquer is too vague. It should not be your first goal or your focus. Short term SMART goals – that are specific, measurable, action based, realistic and time based must be set to take the baby steps to accomplishing the larger goal. What often happens if the focus is on a long-term goal, you start strong, then after three weeks of deprivation and a workout schedule you cannot maintain forever makes you sore, burned out and tired…you quit, you are defeated by your unrealistic goal and give up.

Instead - Set SMART goals; make a list of parts of your life you want to change and improve that aren’t scale related…make your “Change Tree Of Life.”

2. Avoid - I’ll finish this off…talking about unhealthy foods or keeping trigger foods in the pantry. You may think, I’ll just eat up the last 87 cookies, then I’ll start getting healthier snacks. You need to rid your pantry of ALL unhealthy foods, so you don’t have them to go to…check the labels – toss the partially hydrogenated oils, high fats, high sugars – including high fructose sugar and white sugar, sugar-added items. Cut the salt – nobody needs greater than 2,000 milligrams a day. You are sabotaging yourself by having unhealthy foods in your home. Don’t make the excuse it’s for the kids. They don’t need it either; you are just passing on the unhealthy habits to them. The gift of a treat is not a gift at all…teach your family to eat right and healthy.

Instead – Stock your pantry and frig with fruits and veggies. Cut them up so they are grab and go; make serving size baggies up so that it is “fast food.” You cannot continue to binge on weekends, saying I’ll just finish this up, or I’ll just eat this and succeed. The food can trigger whole chain reaction of poor choices. “I ate the whole spaghetti dinner and breadsticks that are too many to count…so why not have the cheesecake? I’ll start tomorrow…” You cannot work off in the gym what you ate in one night like that in one day, much less a week. The average restaurant meal is about 8,000 calories…about 6,500 more than most people need in one day, and that was just one meal! Add your breakfast, snacks, lunch etc. to that and you could easily hit 10,000 for that day. That’s a three-pound weight gain right there. Make better choices…if you want the spaghetti and know it is four portions, eat one today, and three more during the week. Have one breadstick and fill up with a salad, dressing on the side. Have a taste of the cheesecake and share the piece with the whole table…make wise choices and stock your pantry at home with nutritious body fueling foods, not entertainment and empty calories.

3. Avoid infomercial or fad diets – Don’t listen to the promises of unrealistic success, the latest fad will go away, or you’ll run out of money and energy to keep up with the programs demands. You will feel defeated and as if you failed because the four easy abs exercises on the magazine didn’t give you flat abs in two weeks like they promised.

Instead – Eat close the source AKA God’s packaging, not a pre-packed meal or a pill. Get up and move each day, do things you enjoy and then add other activities you need to do to accomplish your goals. Success is a process that takes commitment, not a guaranteed money back plan.

4. Avoid being an island – If you keep your goals to yourself, you can always talk yourself out of them. It can also get lonely, feeling like you’re the only one going through problems, having temptations or putting in the hard work. You can talk to yourself like a three year old, nobody else is doing it – so why should I? I don’t wanna do it, or I deserve to have that cookie because I am breathing. That is the voice of a bratty three year old, not an adult.

Instead – Recruit friends, family and supports. You’ll find out that others struggle, need support and would love an accountability buddy for workouts, food choices or just someone to help lift them up to fight the same battle of the bulge that you are. Research shows that when you reveal choices to others and make them public (like blogging or Facebook), you will have a better chance at success. The camaraderie and accountability of other people is very important to a life change that sticks. Surround yourself with people that also want to succeed. If you have friends that want to sabotage your efforts – come on, let’s go out to eat, come on – you can skip that workout…you made need to talk with them about their lack of support for your choices and say no to their efforts to derail your efforts.

5. Avoid giving the scale 100 percent of your power! We can fluctuate five pounds in a week’s time based on hydration, sodium intake, time of day weighed and other factors. Others check the scale multiple times a day, waiting for that change and are also defeated. The scale will zap your mojo quickly.

Instead – Make what I call your “Change Tree of Life.” Draw a tree, add as many branches as you have areas you’d like to improve in. For example: reduce size, reduce body fat and bmi, reduce blood pressure, sleep better, more energy/reduce fatigue, reduce A1C levels, increase good HDL cholesterol levels, reduce total cholesterol, greater self-esteem, emotional well-being, climb steps without being winded, do push-ups, fit into an airplane seat, etc. Your tree may have 30 branches …the scale gets 1/30th of your tree…it is not the tree, it is one branch of your well-being that you want to improve. Also gauge success on easily measured actions like: climbing a flights of stairs without being winded, how many push-ups you can do (wall or floor), how long you can hold a plank or other functional things that you want to see improvement in. Other subjective measures like sleeping better, better mental focus, more energy and reduced stress should also fill out your trees branches. Remember, you are nine dimensions of well-being…not just one, in the physical.

So…use this advice to help make change in your life, lasting change that sticks! Well-being is a journey, something you engage in…it is not something someone does to you or for you. It is not a destination, the scenery and landscape you deal with changes each mile of the journey. You must accept that change is part of life – really the only other constant besides God. Change brings stress, even if it is a positive change. We must learn to embrace change and adapt to it. Develop that relationship with God to get started; He can help set your paths straight and offer you’re the strength you need to start, stick with and maintain your walk on this marathon of life. Setting a pace for success and help with the failures when they come.

If you’d like help setting up a plan to be your best self, set up a 1:1 session with me! I’ll help you explore your WHY, find our what your carrots are and set up SMART goals and a path to your best self.